The back to school season can be stressful for any family, but it can feel especially daunting for recently divorced parents. The demands of shopping for school supplies, completing school paperwork, transportation arrangements, and after-school activities, etc. can feel chaotic even under the best of circumstances. These back to school tasks and logistics can carry an extra layer of challenge for co-parents.
However, with careful planning and a collaborative mindset, you can make this transition smooth and positive for your children and for yourself, setting your kids up to thrive academically, physically, and emotionally.
Every situation and family dynamic is unique, so not all of these suggestions might apply to your circumstances. These back to school tips and resources for parents may help you successfully navigate the upcoming school year responsibilities and events.
Five Back to School Tips for Co-Parents
1. Prioritize Open Communication
Open communication is key to amicable co-parenting no matter the season, but you may need to mentally and emotionally prepare as well. Engaging in more frequent interactions and detailed discussions with your ex-spouse in the weeks leading up to the school year and during those first few weeks are challenging while adults and kids alike learn new routines and iron out any logistical kinks.
While you devise your communication plan for the school year, here are some tips to keep in mind:
- Consider scheduling a weekly check-in with your co-parent to discuss any updates, concerns, or upcoming school events. This will help avoid misunderstandings and ensure that both parents are equally involved and sharing the load.
- Discuss ahead of time how you want to keep each other informed about last-minute events, appointments, and/or any changes in work/travel/child care schedules in a timely fashion. Make sure that you are in agreement about back-up child care options in the event that one or both of you is unexpectedly unavailable.
- While traditional texting and calling are viable communication options, there are also many mobile applications and shared calendar resources that can make communication easier to facilitate and the school calendar simpler to manage.
OurFamilyWizard is one of the most widely recognized co-parenting technology platforms with messaging features, shared calendars, and budgeting features for co-parents. TalkingParents is another all-inclusive technology solution for co-parents. There is a free plan available depending on the features needed by your family. FamCal is a more basic option that primarily provides a shared calendar platform if you don’t want an all-inclusive app – plus, almost all features are free to users.
2. Create A Consistent Routine
Consistency is crucial for children, especially during times of change and transition. Establishing consistency between households can provide stability and predictability, which can be comforting for children adapting to their new family dynamics and can help them feel secure when they know what to expect each day.
According to a co-parenting article by HelpGuide.org, a mental health non-profit organization:
“it’s healthy for children to be exposed to different perspectives and learn to be flexible, but they also need to know they’re living under the same basic set of expectations at each home.”
While there are certainly situations, such as those involving a toxic co-parent, where consistency is not beneficial or attainable, the article highlights the following three areas to aim for consistency between both households when possible:
Rules
Establish generally consistent guidelines for important issues like homework, curfews, and off-limit activities across both households. This prevents children from having to navigate vastly different disciplinary environments.
Discipline
Apply similar consequences for broken rules and rewards for good behavior, even if the incident occurred at your ex’s house. For example, if you revoke TV privileges at one home, then maintain that restriction at the other home.
Schedule
Align key aspects of your children’s daily routine, such as meal times, homework sessions, and bedtimes, to help them adjust to living in two homes. This can even be managed through one of the collaborative co-parenting application mentioned already.
3. Attend School Events and Communicate With School Staff
Whenever possible, attend school events together to show a united front. Whether it’s parent-teacher conferences, sports events, or school plays, your presence together can reassure your children that they have the support of both parents. This demonstrates to teachers and school staff that you are both committed to your child’s education.
If you anticipate a high-conflict situation arising with your ex-spouse, then you can prepare for mutually-attended events by discussing boundaries and expectations ahead of time. This ensures a respectful and supportive environment for your child that protects their right to be protected from parental conflict. Family counselors and co-parenting specialists can help you develop a plan if you need more help navigating this situation.
It can also be important to inform your child’s teachers and school staff about your recent divorce. This awareness allows teachers to provide extra support and understanding during the transition, as your child processes the events, changes, and any emotional fallout. School counselors are another good resource to proactively engage if you think your child might benefit from another listening ear and advice.
It’s crucial for each co-parent to stay informed about their child’s school activities independently, rather than relying solely on the other co-parent for updates.
4. Manage School Supplies and Expenses
Divorce can strain finances, but it’s important to ensure your child has everything they need for school. You and your co-parent should discuss school supplies, clothing, and other expenses and decide how costs will be shared. Planning these expenses in advance can help prevent conflicts and ensure that your child is well prepared for the school year.
Consider creating a shared budget for school-related expenses, even if you don’t have a shared budget for other living expenses anymore. This can include everything from supplies to extracurricular activities, making it easier to track costs and maintain financial transparency. Whether or not you choose to use a mobile platform for other co-parenting tasks, you might be interested in a shared budgeting app such as the Onward app – developed for parents after divorce. The Onward app eliminates the need for awkward interactions by providing a seamless platform for transparent financial collaboration for shared financial responsibilities.
5. Utilize Community Resources
Take advantage of community resources that can offer support during the back to school transition. Many communities have support groups, workshops, and counseling services for divorced parents and children. These resources can provide valuable guidance and assistance during this time.
If you are local to our Texas family law firm, then this list of post-divorce resources and Texas support groups might be a good place to start.
Capps Law Firm Is Your Co-Parenting Partner
By focusing on open communication, consistency, and emotional support, you can help your child navigate the back to school season with confidence and ease. Remember that you and your co-parent are a team, and working together can create a positive and supportive environment for your child’s educational journey.
If you would like to discuss your family law matter and/or any concerns that you may have about co-parenting and child custody, contact our office or call our office at (512) 338-9800.
